Best short funny quotes about marriage to add humor to your life

Marriage is a delightful journey full of laughter and love, often mixed with a little chaos. At HandmadeT Neon Sign, we’ve gathered funny quotes about marriage that are sure to brighten your day.

Perfect for home decor or as gifts for newlyweds, these quotes celebrate the humor in everyday married life.

Explore how these funny quotes about marriage can add a cheerful touch to your space!

Top funny quotes about marriage to brighten your day

Explore a curated list of 30 hilarious quotes that celebrate the quirks and joys of married life.

These quotes capture the fun side of marriage, reminding us that laughter is an essential part of the journey.

Short funny marriage quotes for couples for your big day

These short funny marriage quotes can add a touch of humor to your special day:

1. “Marriage is a journey, and I’m just the navigator!”
2. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
3. “We are a team; I make the money, and he spends it!”
4. “The two most important words in marriage for me are ‘yes, dear.’”
5. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”
6. “Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.”
7. “Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.”
8. “In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.”
9. “In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”
10. “Marriage is a blast. Like a bomb.”
11. “Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s degree.” – Unknown
12. “Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown
13. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” – Unknown
14. “Marriage: because your relationship wasn’t complicated enough already.” – Unknown
15. “In marriage, if you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” – Unknown
16. “Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every night of the week.” – Unknown
17. “A marriage is where each partner secretly suspects the other one got the better deal.” – Unknown
18. “Marriage is when your spouse’s snoring becomes your new bedtime lullaby.” – Unknown
19. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.” – Unknown
20. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx
21. “Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Unknown
22. “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown
23. “Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.” – Irwin Corey
24. “Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Unknown
25. “Marriage is like a cup of tea. It’s all in how you make it.” – Unknown

Perfect for wedding décor or to share during the ceremony, these short funny marriage quotes add a light-hearted touch to your special day. They can serve as great icebreakers or heartfelt laughs between vows.

Funny marriage quotes for newly married couples

Newlyweds can enjoy these amusing quotes that highlight the fun side of adjusting to married life:

1. “The secret to a happy marriage? A sense of humor and a good sense of direction!”
2. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”
3. “A happy marriage is like a long conversation that always seems too short.”
4. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
5. “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.”
6. “You go, ‘You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.”
7. “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.”
8. “Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.”
9. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go and live with a car battery.”
10. “A successful marriage involves falling in love many times, but always with the same person hiding your car keys.”
11. “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” – Forrest Gump
12. “Marriage is when a man and woman promise to love, honor, and annoy each other for the rest of their lives.” – Unknown
13. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” – Megan Mullally
14. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
15. “Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.”- Stephanie Ortiz
16. “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner
17. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” – Red Skelton
18. “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.” – Albert Einstein
19. “Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.” – Chip Gaines
20. “May your marriage be filled with enough inside jokes to confuse everyone around you and enough love to warm even the coldest of hearts.”
21. “Congratulations on saying “I do” to a lifetime of shared Netflix accounts, stolen fries, and questionable fashion choices.”
22. “Here’s to hoping the only thing growing old together brings are your love, your wisdom, and maybe a slightly more comfortable mattress.”
23. “May your married life be like a good cheese board: full of variety, flavor, and the occasional unexpected blue cheese surprise.”
24. “Congratulations! May your love story have more plot twists than a telenovela and less drama than a reality TV show.”
25. “Wishing you a marriage that’s as strong as your wifi connection and as reliable as your favorite pair of pajama”
26. “We just like each other. You start there. … I still can’t believe my wife goes out with me. If we were in high school and I was just funny, I’d never have the courage to talk to her.” —Tom Hanks
27. “Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy.” —Goldie Hawn
28. “Marriage is like a graph—it has its ups and downs, and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!” —Dame Julie Andrews
29. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally
30. “People say, ‘Jeez, it must be hard to stay married in show business.’ I think it’s hard to stay married anywhere, but if you marry the right person, it might work out.” —Tom Hanks

Celebrate the new chapter of life with these funny quotes funny marriage advice that newlyweds can relate to.

These jokes funny marriage quotes offer a humorous perspective on adjusting to married life, making them perfect for sharing with friends or using in custom neon signs.

Funny marriage quotes and wishes messages about husbands

Here are some funny quotes and wishes that celebrate the humorous aspects of being married to a husband:

1. “My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
2. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”
3. “Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.”
4. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
5. “My prince is not coming on a white horse … He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.”
6. “Every time I get mad at my husband, I grab a broom and sweep the floor—so he knows I’m serious!”
7. “Happy wife, happy life. Happy husband? Who cares!”
8. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”
9. “Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.”
10. “Marriage is when a man and woman promise to love, honor, and annoy each other for the rest of their lives.”
11. “My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, and good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henny Youngman
12. “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And then it was too late.” – Max Kauffmann
13. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
14. “Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” – Mae West
15. “Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.” – Minnie Pearl
16. “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.” – Richard Pryor
17. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss
18. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
19. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
20. “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman
21. “A good marriage is like a casserole – only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Unknown
22. “Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
23. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’” – Unknown
24. “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
25. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” – Lily Tomlin
26. “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” – Henry Youngman
27. “Marriage is like a jigsaw puzzle – all the pieces fit, but it takes a little time to figure out how to make them work together.” – Unknown
28. “Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
29. “Marriage is all about fun, love, and agreeing on whose turn it is to do the dishes.” – Melanie White
30. “My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.” – Lee Judge

Highlighting the funny aspects of being married to a husband, these jokes funny marriage quotes provide a humorous take on the little quirks that come with the territory.

Use these funny quotes funny marriage advice for social media posts or personalized gifts for fellow wives.

Sweet and romantic marriage quotes about love and marriage

Balance the humor with heartfelt sentiments. These sweet quotes capture the essence of love and commitment in marriage:

1. “Marriage is not about finding someone to live with; it’s about finding someone you can’t live without.”
2. “In a sea of people, my eyes will always search for you.”
3. “Never marry the one you can live with, marry the one you cannot live without.”
4. “If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
5. “Who, being loved, is poor?”
6. “To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
7. “Congratulations on finding your lobster! May your love story be sweeter than any piece of cake at this wedding.”
8. “Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day.”
9. “You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
10. “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”
11. “Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” —Chris Rock
12. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner
13. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” —Bill Maher
14. “You go, ‘You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel loved, you make me food.'” —Nikki Glaser recalling Amy Schumer’s wedding vows
15. “Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” — Jerry Seinfeld
16. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” —Chris Rock
17. “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” —Henny Youngman
18. “Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called 50 Shades of Just O.K.” —Conan O’Brien
19. “Congratulations on officially becoming an accomplice in crime! May your partnership be filled with laughter, love, and the ability to get away with anything… together.”
20. “May your married life be like a good Netflix series: full of cliffhangers, unexpected plot twists, and seasons that leave you wanting more.”
21. “Marriage is like a fine wine: it gets better with age (but hopefully doesn’t turn into vinegar!). Here’s to a lifetime of love and laughter!”
22. “Congratulations on finding your lobster! May your love story be sweeter than any piece of cake at this wedding.”
23. “Marriage is like pizza: even when it’s cold, it’s still pretty good. Here’s to a love that’s always delicious, no matter what life throws your way.”
24. “Make sure you have date night even if it’s once in a blue moon because most of the time you’re just too tired and you’d actually prefer to sleep.” —Chris Hemsworth
25. “I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.” —Cameron Esposito
26. “I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…” —Kristen Bell
27. “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” —Mickey Rooney
28. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” —Anne Bancroft
29. “My wife and I have been married for 21 years, and without a doubt, the hardest times we’ve faced were those times when we hated each other.” —Andy Richter
30. “Our marriage was the most difficult, grueling, excruciating thing that we have ever taken on in our lives. And you know, we’re just not quitters.” —Will Smith
31. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a day and remembering to carry the trash out.” —Joyce Brothers
32. “My wife didn’t take my name, which isn’t weird, but what’s weird is when people think it’s weird, like we’re on a first-name basis anyway.” —Mark Agee
33. “A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” —Frank Sinatra
34. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” —Winston Churchill
35. “Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that song, ‘Let me upgrade ya!’ She upgraded me.” —Barack Obama
36. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck

Balance the humor with heartfelt sentiments. These sweet quotes capture the essence of love and commitment in marriage, making them perfect for a romantic atmosphere or as thoughtful gifts.

Feel free to share these marriage funny quotes on social media, incorporate them into your custom neon signs from HandmadeT Neon Sign, or use them as gifts for newlyweds!

These funny quotes about marriage can lighten the mood and create lasting memories for couples everywhere.

Why use funny marriage quotes as decor to personalize your space?

Here are the main reasons why should decorate your space with funny marriage quotes.:

• Adds Personality: Incorporating funny quotes about marriage into your decor adds a unique touch that reflects your sense of humor and relationship dynamics.
• Creates a Positive Atmosphere: Humorous funny marriage quotes can lighten the mood and promote a joyful environment, making your home feel more inviting and cheerful.
• Daily Reminders: Custom neon signs featuring short funny marriage quotes serve as delightful reminders to appreciate the joy and laughter in your relationship every day.
• Conversation Starters: These signs can spark conversations with funny marriage quotes for newlyweds and create cherished memories with family and friends, enhancing the overall ambiance of your home.
• Versatile Placement: Whether in the living room, bedroom, or dining area, funny quotes about marriage can fit seamlessly into various spaces, adding warmth and charm to your home decor.

Benefits of using neon signs to display funny quotes about marriage

At HandmadeT Neon Sign, we offer custom neon signs that feature funny quotes about marriage. Here are a few benefits of using neon signs:

Visual impact

Neon signs are eye-catching and add a unique glow to any room. Their vibrant colors create a focal point that enhances your decor while serving as a reminder of your love story.

Positive atmosphere

Funny quotes about marriage in neon light elevate your mood and foster a positive atmosphere. The warm glow inspires creativity and positivity, making your space feel more inviting.

Customizable options

Custom neon signs offer a high level of personalization. You can choose from various fonts, colors, and sizes to create a sign that perfectly fits your style.

Budget-Friendly Solutions

At HandmadeT, we believe everyone deserves motivation. Our custom neon signs are competitively priced, allowing you to enhance your space without breaking the bank.

HandmadeT Neon Sign: Custom perfect gift for couples

Custom neon signs featuring funny quotes about marriage make excellent anniversary or wedding gifts. They provide a memorable way to celebrate love and laughter in relationships.

For business: Best funny quotes about marriage neon signs

Businesses that cater to weddings, interior design, or personalized gifts can greatly benefit from incorporating funny marriage quotes into their offerings.

Wedding planners and event coordinators

Neon signs featuring funny marriage quotes for newlyweds are perfect for creating a fun and lighthearted atmosphere at weddings and other marriage-related events.

These signs can enhance the mood and add a memorable touch to the celebration.

Interior design studios

Using custom neon signs with short funny marriage quotes adds a unique, personalized touch to interior design projects.

These signs can serve as a focal point in a home or venue, sparking conversation and bringing a smile to everyone’s face.

Online custom gift platforms

Offering signs with funny marriage advice quotes helps to draw in shoppers looking for a memorable gift to celebrate weddings, anniversaries, or even humorous home decor.

Gift shop store

Neon signs featuring funny quote about marriage are highly attractive to customers searching for personalized and thoughtful gifts

For events: Best funny quotes for newlyweds neon signs

Wedding receptions, anniversary celebrations, and bridal showers all benefit from the playful touch of funny marriage quotes in neon signs, making every event more lively and memorable.

Wedding receptions

Incorporating custom neon signs with funny marriage quotes for newlyweds can set a playful and joyful tone for wedding receptions.

These signs not only serve as great decor but also give guests something fun to laugh about as they celebrate the union.

Anniversary celebrations

Adding neon signs with funny quotes about marriage to anniversary events can bring smiles and laughter to the occasion, celebrating both love and humor in long-lasting relationships.

These signs can be a lighthearted addition to the event’s decor, making the milestone even more special.

Bridal showers

Custom neon signs featuring jokes and funny marriage quotes make a fantastic addition to bridal showers, offering a fun way to decorate while sharing laughs with friends and family.

These signs also make great photo backdrops for capturing memorable moments.

For home decor: Best short funny marriage quotes neon sign

Neon signs featuring funny quotes about marriage also make a great addition to home decor, adding humor and personality to various rooms.

Living room or family room decor

Neon signs with sayings and funny marriage quotes can make your living or family room feel more inviting. Guests will enjoy the playful decor, and it adds a humorous touch to your everyday space.

Bedroom decor for couples

Keep the spark alive by incorporating funny marriage quotes about husbands or wives into bedroom decor.

These neon signs create a playful, romantic atmosphere, reminding couples to always find joy and laughter in their relationship.

Dining room wall art

A neon sign featuring a funny quote about marriage can make dining experiences more fun and engaging.

It adds a lighthearted vibe to family dinners or dinner parties, turning mealtime into an opportunity for laughter and connection with marriage funny quotes.

How to choose the right funny quote for your neon sign?

• Reflect on Your Relationship: Choose a funny quote about marriage that captures your unique experiences as a couple, whether it’s a shared memory or a humorous moment.
• Inside Jokes: Consider quotes that reference inside jokes or funny anecdotes that only you and your partner understand, adding a personal touch to your neon sign.
• Elicit a Smile: Look for marriage funny quotes that consistently bring a smile to your faces. The humor should resonate with both of you, making it a joyful reminder in your home.
• Keep It Short and Sweet: Opt for short funny marriage quotes that are easy to read and visually appealing when displayed as a neon sign.
• Consider Your Decor Style: Choose marriage funny quotes that complements your home decor. The right quote should enhance the aesthetic of your space while also being fun and lighthearted.

Why choose HandmadeT Neon Sign for your custom neon sign?

When looking for a neon sign with funny quotes about marriage, HandmadeT Neon Sign stands out for several reasons:

• High-quality products: We prioritize quality in our custom neon signs, ensuring durability and vibrant colors.
• Affordable pricing: HandmadeT offers competitive pricing, making it easy to find a custom neon sign that fits your budget.
• Extensive customization options: Enjoy a wide range of customization choices, including various fonts, colors, and sizes to match your personal style.
• Excellent customer service: Our dedicated customer service team is here to assist you throughout your ordering process, ensuring a smooth and enjoyable experience.
• Satisfaction guaranteed: We strive to deliver products that you love, providing a delightful addition to your home or workspace.

FAQs about funny quotes about marriage and custom neon signs

How can I use funny quotes about marriage in my decor?

You can display them on custom neon signs in your home, creating a fun and personalized atmosphere.

Why should I choose neon signs for displaying quotes?

Neon signs are vibrant, eye-catching, and add a unique glow to your space, making them perfect for displaying humorous quotes.

Can I customize a neon sign with my own funny quote about marriage?

Yes! HandmadeT allows you to create a custom neon sign with any quote you choose.

Are funny quotes about marriage suitable for gifts?

Absolutely! Custom neon signs featuring funny marriage quotes make excellent gifts for weddings, anniversaries, or any couple celebrating their love.

Conclusion

Add a personal touch to your home with funny quotes about marriage! At HandmadeT Neon Sign, create custom neon signs that capture the humor in your relationship.

Brighten your space with designs that reflect your love story.

Get 10% off your first order and free shipping at HandmadeT Neon Sign, customize your space with inspiring quotes today!